Don't Blink

Well, hello there. I know it’s not usually seen as important but I just had my last real day of Freshman year of high school, and it’s difficult to express how I feel in words. 

Firstly, to note something: 

Everyone else is like this for summer

While I am like this:

 

because I have no clue where on Earth I am going to go from here. 

This year I’ve done a lot of self-exploration; most namely in my April experiment. Last summer, I went from a stupid 8th grader who lacked a care in the world to a human being. I met some people that I will never forget, some that I call my best friends, and I met some people who had gone through so much more than I ever thought imaginable from the looks of them. But sure enough, I met my friends- some suicidal, some bisexual, all just different- and they changed me forever. I knew that pain existed before then, but I didn’t know where or to what magnitude it did. I feel enlightened to know of the human experience, despite the pains it brings (you know, “Ignorance is bliss” and all that). 

And so now I wait to see what happens this year. Today was monumental for a number of reasons, namely that one of the most influential people to my life was, after over a month, released from the mental hospital she was in for self-abuse. For the time she was in there, I thought of her all the time, had sleepless nights over her, and couldn’t feel truly happy for too long without crashing. But now she is out, and I only hope that when we see each other again in about a month she will miss me close to as much as I miss her. 

Today was also pretty big for the main reason that I am writing this; I said goodbye to some of my great friends today. My senior friends. From robotics and my AP class, I made some fantastic friends that, unfortunately, I probably will see very seldomly again. I saw them as mentors, leaders, and friends, and only recently did I realize how much I would miss them.  

And so now I do something few do; I miss something that just ended. I remember the long hours spent, the sleep lost, the book written, and the time wasted. I smile at the amazing friends I’ve gained over this year, the times we spent together, and the memories I have. I hate the goodbyes, the drama, the awkward situations, the bullying, the shame I felt at the actions of my friends. I will cherish what I earned this year and keep it with me for the rest of my years in high school and in life.

I know I ramble, and my writing probably needs some improvement, but that’s what tumblr is: Facebook without the stupid face to face moments in between, MySpace for cool people, 4chan for the ones with the souls, YouTube but with .gifs- which is totally pronounced with a g not a j sound-, and reddit for hipsters. Over the next 3 months of summer, I hope to get closer to you guys and maybe follow some more people, because my stream has been a little dry recently. 

Well, I shall sleep soon, for Korra is on tomorrow morning, and I shall not miss it!

(P.S. Daniel, if you see this, 1. Beautiful post 2. You’re still invited to Disneyland if you around the school area for much longer. Text/Call me @ the number I signed in your faux yearbook)